When I Wonder #3

When it rains, it pours. Or shall I say, if in grief mode, just do it all the way.

Three years ago my daughter went to college. It wasn't far, just down the road. But that road felt like an ocean. The day we moved her into her freshman dorm I cried buckets all the way home. BUT, I have been able to see her on the weekends, spend the night in her dorm room, and even enjoy an occasional lunch with her on campus. God was very gentle with me when the first bird flew from the nest. As you know, the second time wasn't so gentle. Greyson moved to Australia just 2 short weeks ago...and that road is an ocean- and a couple of continents- and an equator!

Last night was one of those blessed nights when I could drive over to meet my daughter for dinner at her request. She had something to talk about with me- and her dad, but I'll leave him out of this for now.

"I don't think I'm coming home this summer." MMmmmm. ooooh... ooooh-kay. My thoughts raced back to the days of my junior year and beyond. I never went back home for the summer either. I was busy with the world I had built for myself, enjoying my independence, and loving my life. I knew this was coming. I know it is really good. I know that I know that healthy ripping is natural. But it still feels like ripping.

She is to me what Greyson has been to his dad. She is my princess and feminine companion in a house with two other very manly men and all the burps, belches, farts, and wrestling in the pool, a best girlfriend, an energetic thing of beauty that makes me want to get up and be a better person. She is transcending me. And I want to hang on for dear life. But I can't. I have to let go again, and I will. Just give me a day or two. Okay, maybe a week or two...or what-EVER! I'll get there, but God help me to enjoy her beautiful wingspan as she flies further and further into your arms and out of mine- into your plans and not mine. I have a feeling she will be an ocean across someday as well.

I have a thing I say to my kids...especially now as it is their responsibility to grow up, learn interdependence, and decide with their will what their life will be. Just simply, "Go get it" or "okay, let's do this thing."

Lord, help me to graciously do this thing.