Forgiveness and Hurt

As a counselor, I run into situations with people where there has been so much hurt. Forgiveness is necessary in order to move on, however, it is not a journey to be rushed. The standing of forgiveness with God happens at the moment we give it to Him, but forgiveness between humans takes some time. Here are some thoughts on forgiveness:



For the Offended

• it's really about letting go (right to punish, control, or get revenge)


• let God administer the justice ( He will do it so much more effectively)


• release the offender from the feeling of having to prove self or perform for the offended


• who are we to think that the offense was so horrendous that the incredible, excruciating, humiliating, scorging death of Christ was NOT ENOUGH to cover the offense or our deep hurt


• refusing to forgive is not an option for the believer, but timing of the release is important


• consider the question: "am I afraid of what will follow letting go?"

Thoughts on anger (which is usually found on the path toward forgiveness or the path of waiting for forgiveness):

• anger is hurt turned inside out


• deal with the hurt and anger will subside


• a curse-filled mind is driven to care more about appearances


• a grace-filled mind is anchored in the true condition of the heart


• "fixing" will only lead to feeble attempts to try to change the other person


• gracious serving keeps a heart tender and open to receive God's grace in the situation

For the Offender

• God in Christ Jesus is the true forgiver and source of all human forgiveness


• Stay tender toward Christ and the one offended until the offended completes their process of entering into forgiveness


• Be transparent and open about the offense so God can gather an audience in time to see Him glorified at the point of final release and forgiveness


• Continue in your walk with Christ and act like a forgiven person with tremendous gratefulness.


• Proceed in your life with brokenness and tenderness toward the offended in order for their heart to be open to healing


• Pride and secrecy blocks complete healing in both parties

I have witnessed horrendous acts be forgiven and surrendered to the loving grace of Christ and watched people move on in their life with a beautiful ability to comfort others with the comfort given to them on the journey of hurt and forgiveness.

May it continue to be so....Be encouraged...it's a beautiful thing. By the way, all principles and scriptures apply to forgiving ourselves...

(Ephesians 4:31-32; Luke 6:27-28; 1 Pet. 3:9-12; Ps. 30:11-12; Colossians 3:8,12-13)