Grief

I thought it might be a good time to put some words down about living through loss in our lives. In an effort to live in obedience to God in everything, I find myself writing about the negative things in life...alot. The negative things in life hurt and people need truth and grace especially when they are hurting. I do not wish to capitalize on the doom in our lives, but to capture the life-giving truths we can extract from them.

Isaiah 45:2-3 ( look it up-you'll be glad you did) tells us that there are treasures in the darkness, hidden wealth in secret places. Although the context of this passage deals with physical wealth and treasures in the plunder, these truths translate into the passages of our hearts as well. The bottom line is that God wants His people (then and now) to know Him and that He calls His children by name. Calling us by name is an intimate act. You know how different "I love you" sounds when you add the name, "Roxanna, I love you"...especially when we're hurting.

The darkness of loss holds treasures for us if we will search for it and know God is calling us by our name in the midst of it. I would like to share some excerpts about loss from a book called Life After Loss by Bob Deits.
In regard to growing through loss on p. 99 he says, "Growth means gaining a new love and reverence for life. It means shifting your attention from the ordinary to the quality elements of life... Growth is a greater awareness of our mutual need for each other and of the sacred dimension of life... "

I'm not saying we should treasure loss or the grief. What I am saying is that the growth, the creativity, and the open doors that eventually open after loss can be considered gifts and treasures. But for the Christian, the person of Christ and His presence is the treasure in the process. If we didn't have loss, we might not experience the intimacy with Christ that happens as He dispenses His grace and presence into our lives as we call out to Him in our loss.

We experience all kinds of loss in our lives. Loss of dreams, loss of an idea, loss of a loved one through death or legal divorce or emotional divorce, loss of health, loss of finances, loss of a home, loss of lifestyle. Missionaries experience all kinds of loss in life when they enter into a new culture in it's entirety. An empty nest is a major loss for parents. If you think about it, we lose all along life's way.

Here are some quotes I like from this book that might be helpful:

• "''I know how you feel' can be words of comfort or sound like fingernails on a chalkboard."
• "Believe that your grief has a purpose and an end."
• "To go through grief also is to grow through grief."
• "Grief is not only a door-closer. Grief is also a door-opener."
• "Grief is as much about finding as it is about losing."
• "There are no shortcuts to a good and full life after a major loss."
• "...new skills, talents, and compassion emerge...." (History teaches us that in times of economic depression and struggle, it is a perfect time for inventors and entrepreneurs to emerge with fresh ideas to meet the needs of the day. )

Earl Grollman says in his book Times Remembered, "It's a risk to attempt new beginnings...Yet the greater risk is for you to risk nothing. For there will be no further possibilities of learning and changing, of traveling upon the journey of life...You were strong to hold on. You will be stronger to go forward to new beginnings."

I know some of you out there and you are walking through great loss. Relationships, jobs, faith and life long dreams. As some teenagers I know would say, "I feel ya." It is a sacred privilege to walk beside each other in it. No matter your losses as of today, be encouraged; the way out of grief (or pain) is through it. If we commit to the treasure in it, we will find great wealth and be found rich.