Service First, Words Second

Over this past summer, God taught me something very important during a very trying season of my motherhood. I can talk, preach, teach, and use my words (even said kindly)but if I don't first serve and have a servant's heart to my children, the words will bounce off, unable to have effect.

One of my favorite motherhood authors, Sally Clarkson, wrote a book called The Ministry of Motherhood; Following Christ's example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children. I quote her on p. 35.

"As I look to the hearts of my own children and seek to teach them about the grace of God, I realize my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time, my attention, my "soft-tickling" (she refers to tickling her sons back to help him go to sleep) -even when I am tired or have other important things on my mind- is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense."

I Peter 4:8 says, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

I am so grateful for making this very important connection in my life. I've often said "no" to service in fear that it would make my children dependent and not prepared for their adult life. Humanism teaches us to make them independent unaccompanied by grace. What I've learned is my service to them with a deeply loving spirit inspires them (eventually) to want to help with the laundry, the dishes, the doggie poop. Jesus inspired the disciples to do right with his feet washing, not with coercion and force.

Motherhood is not about slavery but about servanthood which is birthed out of the love and grace the Lord gives us each day. Sometimes loving deeply is saying "no" and sometimes it is "you are old enough to do your own laundry, how can I help you?" Sometimes it is a resounding "Yes!"- I can do that for you today...you've got alot on your plate!"

I must add one more thing....it is freeing. I don't have to prove anything to anybody. I simply do the first thing, love deeply and serve my children in Christ, and He has the uncanny ability to take it from there with my words and teaching. Thank you God for your design of motherhood.